SESSION 3: HOW TO KNOW

Colossians 3:12–17

Read the Text
Colossians 3:12–17 (ESV)
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Setting the Context
In verses 1–4 Paul reminds believers who they are in Christ. In verses 5–11 he reminds them who they are not, and he calls them to put away the practices of the old life. Now in verses 12–17 Paul shows what a life aligned with Christ actually looks like.

In other words, Paul gives us a way to evaluate ourselves. He gives marks of the new life. He does not call us to pretend we are mature. He calls us to live in a way that reflects the truth that we have been raised with Christ.

This section also reminds us that spiritual maturity is not measured by how much we claim to know, but by how well the life of Christ is taking shape in us through our attitudes, relationships, and daily conduct.

Put On the New Self (v.12)
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved…”

Paul begins this section by returning once again to identity. Before listing Christlike qualities, he reminds the believer of who they are. We put on these traits because we belong to God; through Christ we are chosen, holy, and beloved.

One of the enemy’s strategies is to cause believers to forget they are loved. When a believer forgets they are loved by God, they become discouraged, distracted, and vulnerable. But when we remember that we are loved by the Father, we are strengthened to pursue the things of God. Remember that even during Jesus’ trial in the wilderness Satan’s first line of attack was not by tempting Jesus to sin, but in trying to cast doubt “If you are the Son of God…” (Matt. 4:3).

Paul moves forward by listing traits that reflect the character of Christ: compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. These virtues are not merely personality traits. They are evidence of spiritual growth and of the new life taking root in the believer.

Imitate Christ in Relationships (v.13)
“Bearing with one another… forgiving each other…”

Here Paul is moving from internal character to the traits that are tested through relational expression. It is one thing to talk about kindness and patience. It is another thing to display them when people disappoint us, irritate us, or wound us. These virtues are tested most clearly in relationships with others.

Paul does not pretend that complaints and conflicts will never arise among believers. Instead, he shows us how to respond when they do. The standard is not our feelings or emotions. The standard is the grace we have received because conflict, offense, and disagreement are realities within the body of Christ. And Paul does not deny this reality; instead, he instructs believers on how to respond when such moments arise.

“As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

Forgiveness is not an option for the Christian. It is a command grounded in the gospel. We forgive each other because we have been forgiven. We extend grace because grace has been extended to us.

Above All Put on Love (v.14)
“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Love is the binding agent for Christians and Paul places love at the top because love is what holds everything together. Other virtues may be present in a person’s life, but without love, the qualities listed in verse 12 cannot remain unified or effective. Love is the binder. Love is the strength, and love is the proof that Christ is at work in us (2 Cor. 13).

This also protects us from performing Christianity. Love is not an optional addition to Christian character. It is the defining mark of Christ’s life being formed in the believer and the essential bond that maintains unity within the body. Love is the heart posture that reflects the nature of Christ (John 13:34-35).

Let the Peace of Christ Rule (v.15)
“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…”

Paul now addresses the governing influence within the believer’s heart. The peace of Christ is not meant to be passive, but authoritative.

The word “rule” carries the idea of governing or deciding. Peace is not meant to be a visitor in the believer’s heart. Peace is meant to be the authority that influences our responses and relationships.

This peace shapes how believers respond to one another and how unity is preserved within the body. Paul says we were called to peace “in one body.” That means a believer should not be comfortable living in constant conflict with other believers. Peace should be pursued, protected, and practiced (Matthew 5:9).

Paul adds a simple command that has deep power “…be thankful.” Gratitude keeps the heart soft, and it keeps our focus on what God has done rather than what others have failed to do. Through Christ we find peace with God (Romans 5:1), and how we can have peace with others.

Let the Word of Christ Dwell Richly (v.16)
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…”

This returns us to a vital theme of the central role of God’s Word in the believer’s life. The Christian cannot grow without the Word of God because spiritual growth, wisdom, and worship flow from a life saturated in the Word of Christ. This indwelling Word equips believers to teach, encourage, and admonish one another, while also shaping worship that is rooted in gratitude and truth.

Paul does not describe the Word as something we visit occasionally. He describes it as something that dwells in us richly; that implies depth, consistency, and priority.

From that Word-centered life flows worship and mutual encouragement. Paul speaks of teaching and admonishing one another, and he speaks of singing hymns with thankfulness.
A church that is saturated in the Word will be a church that is rich in worship, gratitude, and spiritual stability.

Do Everything in the Name of the Lord Jesus (v.17)
“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus…”

Paul closes this section with totality by removing any division between sacred and secular. There is no part of life that is outside the lordship of Christ; every word and every deed falls under His lordship.

Our words and deeds both matter, since what we say and what we do should reflect the name we claim, the Savior we follow, and the life we have been given.

Paul closes again with gratitude. “Giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Gratitude is a repeated theme because thanksgiving realigns the heart with God’s grace and keeps us rooted in the gospel.

This final statement gathers everything together. Identity, behavior, relationships, worship, and gratitude are all brought under the name of the Lord Jesus, with thanksgiving offered to God the Father through Him.

Reflection & Application
Take time to reflect honestly.

1. Which of the traits in verse 12 do you most need to grow in right now?
2. Is there anyone you need to forgive, or anyone you need to seek peace with?
3. Is love functioning as the binder in your life, or are you trying to live out Christian virtues without it?
4. Does the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, or is it something you only visit occasionally?
5. What would it look like today to do everything, in word and deed, in the name of the Lord Jesus?

Prayer
Lord, thank You that You have made me Your own through Christ. Teach me to put on the character of Jesus, to forgive as I have been forgiven, and to love in a way that reflects Your heart. Let Your peace rule in me. Let Your Word dwell in me richly. Help me to live all of life in the name of the Lord Jesus, with gratitude to You in all things.

Notes/ Reflections:

SESSION 2: WHO YOU ARE NOT

Colossians 3:5–11

Read the Text
Colossians 3:5–11 (ESV)
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

Setting the Context
After reminding believers who they are in Christ, Paul turns to address who they are no longer called to be. Identity precedes behavior, but identity also demands change. New life in Christ requires a decisive break from the old way of living.
Here the believer’s effort runs parallel with the sovereignty of Christ in their lives. Admittedly, there is no earning of salvation taught here, but even Paul understands that the believer must take responsibility in how they live in relationship to Christ and the salvation they have found. Philippians 2:12 reminds us to “…work out your own salvation with fear and trembling… remembering it is God who works in you…”
Paul does not soften his language here and his intention is not to belittle the individual but to build them up and guide them in their salvation. He speaks plainly because sin is not a minor issue that can be managed or tolerated. It is a threat to spiritual growth, unity, and faithfulness. The Christian life involves not only putting on what is new, but also putting away what no longer belongs.

Put to Death What Is Earthly (v.5)
Paul begins with a command that is intentionally strong.
“Put to death…”

This calls for deliberate and decisive action on the part of the believer. It does not imply gradual improvement or careful negotiation because sin is not something the believer can make peace with. The sins Paul names are not to be entertained or excused. They are to be dealt with completely.

The list begins with sins that corrupt the inner life and the thought life. Sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness all center on misplaced desire. These sins elevate personal appetite above God’s design.

Paul identifies covetousness as idolatry because it places self at the center. When desire rules the heart, God no longer does. This returns us to the root of sin, which is pride. Throughout Scripture, rebellion consistently flows from wanting what God has not given or rejecting the limits He has established.

These Once Defined Your Walk (v.7)
Paul reminds the believers that this was once their way of life.
“In these you too once walked…”

This statement by Paul places these sins firmly in the past. This is not a statement meant to shame, but to clarify identity. What once defined our identities, no longer does because they are sins and actions associated with the “old self.”

To continue living in these patterns would be to deny the reality of resurrection life in the believer. They are contradictions to the new life because the believer who has died and been raised with Christ cannot live comfortably in the grave clothes of the old self.

But Now You Must Put Them Away (v.8–9)
“But now you must put them all away…”

Paul then turns to sins that damage relationships and destroy unity within the body of Christ.

Anger, wrath, malice, slander, obscene talk, and lying all flow outward. These sins reveal what is happening internally, and they fracture trust among believers.

Lying is especially destructive because it undermines the foundation of Christian community. Truth is essential for unity, accountability, and love. A life that is being renewed in Christ must also be marked by honesty.

Paul’s language emphasizes finality. The old self has been put off. The practices associated with it no longer belong to the believer’s identity or way of life.
  
Clarifying the Sins That Must Be Put Away (Colossians 3:8–9)
Paul now addresses sins that directly affect our relationships with others and, by extension, our relationship with Christ. These sins reveal what is happening in the heart and often surface in our words and reactions.

• Anger: an unsettled attitude of irritation or resentment. This is not a momentary emotion of frustration, but a heart posture that simmers beneath the surface. When anger becomes a pattern, it interferes with our communion with Christ because it resists the fruit of the Spirit, especially patience and self-control (Gal. 5:22–23).
  
• Wrath: anger that has boiled over, explosive, reactive, and uncontrolled that is expressed outwardly. A life marked by wrath contradicts the call to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts (Col. 3:15).
• Malice: anger that has matured to ill intent. It is a desire to harm, diminish, or see another suffer emotionally, physically, or socially. Malice poisons both vertical and horizontal relationships because it resists grace and fosters a spirit contrary to the heart of Christ (Eph. 4:31-32).
• Slander: involves speaking in a way that damages someone else. Whether spoken aloud or in private, its purpose is to tear down. Words matter deeply in the Christian life. Speech that harms others reflects a heart that is not being governed by love (Eph. 4:29).
• Obscene Talk: vulgar, degrading, or morally corrupting language that includes coarse joking, crude language, and words that trivialize sin. The mouth reveals the heart (Matt. 12:34). When our speech is careless or corrupt, it signals a disconnect between our confession and our conduct.
• Lying: any distortion of truth, whether false statements, deception, exaggeration, or withholding truth to deceive. Because the believer has put off the old self and put on the new, truthfulness is essential. A community built on truth reflects the character of Christ, who is the truth (John 14:6).

  
Why These Sins Must Be Put Away
Each of these sins damages relationships horizontally with others and vertically with Christ. They disrupt unity, resist the work of the Spirit, and hinder spiritual growth.

Paul’s command is not to manage these sins, but to put them away entirely. A life being renewed in Christ must also reflect Christ in attitude, speech, and conduct.
  
Renewed in Knowledge After God’s Image (v.10)
“…put on the new self, which is being renewed…”

The new self is not static; it is a dynamic relationship with Christ that is continually progressing as we grow closer to Christ and more in line with His will in our lives.

This renewal takes place through knowledge, not merely information, but a growing understanding of God’s truth that reshapes the heart and mind. As believers grow in knowledge of Christ, they are progressively restored toward the image God intended from creation. An image that reflects to the world who God is, while also promoting a desire to regain what was lost in the fall and live a life that reflects God’s glory.

This renewal affects both the vertical relationship with God and horizontal relationships with others. Growth in Christ should result in visible change in how believers think, speak, and treat one another.

Christ Is All, and in All (v.11)
“…Christ is all, and in all.”

Paul closes this section by emphasizing unity in Christ.

Earthly distinctions that often divide people lose their power in the body of Christ. Background, ethnicity, status, and social position no longer define worth or belonging. Christ alone defines identity.

This truth has practical implications. How believers treat one another reflects what they believe about Christ, and the unity within the church becomes a testimony to the transforming power of the gospel.

Reflection and Application
Take time to reflect carefully.

1. Are there sins Paul names here that I have tolerated rather than put to death?
2. In what ways do my words and attitudes reveal remnants of the old self?
3. How does understanding my identity in Christ change the way I view repentance?
4. What steps do I need to take to put away practices that interfere with my walk with Christ?

Prayer
Lord, search my heart and reveal anything that does not belong in a life raised with Christ. Give me the grace to put away what is old and to walk in the new life You have given me. Renew me in truth and shape me into the image of Christ.

Notes/ Reflections:

WHO ARE YOU?
A Study of Identity in Christ
Colossians 3:1–17

“Christ who is your life…”
Colossians 3:4

A Three-Session Study Guide
for Personal Reflection or Group Use

Prepared by: Patrick Priest
 
 INTRODUCTION
The question of identity is not a modern concern. From the beginning, God’s people have wrestled with what it means to belong to Him and how that belonging should shape the way they live. In Colossians 3:1–17, the apostle Paul addresses this question directly by grounding the believer’s identity in Christ and showing how that identity transforms every aspect of life.

Paul writes to believers who were being pressured by teachings that blurred the gospel with human wisdom, religious rule-keeping, and cultural philosophy. Rather than offering a new system or additional requirements, Paul calls believers back to the sufficiency of Christ. Before instructing them on how to live, he reminds them of who they are.

This study is built around three movements found in the passage. First, Paul reminds believers who they are in Christ and where their true life is found. Second, he confronts who they are no longer called to be by calling them to put away the practices of the old life. Finally, he shows how a life aligned with Christ is made visible through character, relationships, and devotion to God.

This guide is designed to help believers examine their lives in light of their identity in Christ. It is not intended to promote behavior modification apart from the gospel, nor does it present spiritual maturity as something to be earned. Rather, it invites reflection on how resurrection life in Christ reshapes the heart, the mind, and daily conduct.

Whether used individually or in a group setting, the goal of this study is simple: to encourage believers to live from who they are in Christ, not who they once were, and to grow in a way that reflects the transforming power of the gospel.
                   
 
SESSION 1: WHO YOU ARE
Colossians 3:1–4

Read the Text
Colossians 3:1–4 (ESV)
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Setting the Context
Paul writes these words to believers who are being pressured by false teachers that are teaching a gospel that blends religious rule-keeping, human wisdom, and cultural philosophy with faith in Christ.

These teachings attempt to diminish the gospel of Christ by suggesting that something more than Him was necessary for spiritual maturity.

They were teaching a gospel that runs contrary to the gospel of grace through faith (Eph. 2:8-9).

Before Paul ever tells believers what to do, he reminds them who they are. Identity matters in shaping our worldview.

Christian living is not about behavior modification; it is about an identity transformation that is shaped through our relationship with Christ.

Raised With Christ (v.1)
Paul begins with a statement that defines the Christian’s new position:
“If then you have been raised with Christ…”
This is an assumed reality and not a hypothetical condition that shapes the way we perceive, act, and live. Paul is saying, “Since this is true…”

To be raised with Christ means:

• We are united with Him in His resurrection
• Our old life has ended
• A new life has begun

Because our position has changed, our direction in which we think, move, and function in the world must change:
“Seek the things that are above…”

This does not mean disengaging from earthly responsibilities. It means living with heavenly priorities by viewing life through the lens of Christ’s authority and rule.
Paul anchors this perspective by reminding us of where Christ is:
“…seated at the right hand of God.”

This is a position of authority, power, and preeminence.

If Christ occupies that place in heaven, He must also occupy that place in our thinking (Romans 12:1-2) because how we think affects how we live (Eph. 4:23; Phil. 4:8).

A New Mindset (v.2)
“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
This is an intentional, ongoing command. Christian growth requires disciplined thinking.

Paul contrasts:

• A worldly mindset — shaped by culture, desire, and self
• A heavenly mindset — shaped by Christ, truth, and eternity

This directly confronts legalism. Paul has already rejected the idea that spirituality is earned through rule-keeping (Colossians 2:20–23). The Christian life is not submission to a system, but devotion to a Savior.

A renewed mind, heart, and life flows from a renewed identity, and it begins with knowing who you are in Christ (see, John 1:12).

You Have Died (v.3)
“For you have died…”
This statement explains why a new mindset is possible, and necessary.

The believer has died:

• To the old self
• To the authority of sin
• To the former way of life

Death is final. Paul does not speak of managing or improving the old self because it is considered dead. Through Christ you have been made new and walk in a newness of life (2 Cor. 5:17).

Because we died with Christ, we now live in Christ.

Hidden With Christ (v.3)
“…and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”

This phrase speaks of:

• Security — our salvation is not fragile
• Assurance — our standing is not based on performance
• Belonging — we are kept by God Himself

To be “hidden” does not mean unknown; it means protected.

Strength and growth flow from this reality, and they are accessed through:

• Prayer
• God’s Word
• Ongoing dependence on Christ

Spiritual immaturity often reveals itself not in lack of knowledge, but in lack of abiding in Christ. Spiritual maturity grows out of a relationship of dependency on Christ.

Christ Is Your Life (v.4)
“When Christ who is your life appears…”
This is one of the most defining statements in the passage.

Christ is not:

• A part of life
• An accessory to life
• One priority among many
• Something we find a place for in our lives

Christ is our life.

This affects:

• Our values
• Our decisions
• Our relationships
• Our hope for the future
• Every aspect of our lives

Paul ties identity to destiny. Because Christ will appear in glory, those united with Him will share in that glory.

A changed identity brings:

• A new nature
• A new direction
• A new destination
• A new life

Reflection & Application
Take time to reflect honestly.

1. What currently shapes your mindset more, the world or Christ?
2. In what ways do you still live as though the old self is alive?
3. How does knowing your life is “hidden with Christ” affect your security and confidence?
4. What would change if Christ truly functioned as your life, not merely a part of it?

Prayer
Lord, help me live from who I am in You, not who I once was. Renew my mind, anchor my heart in Christ, and teach me to seek the things above while I walk faithfully here below.
Notes/ Reflections: